I want…

Give me a suite in Ritz hotel, I wouldn’t want it
Chanel jewellery, I wouldn’t want it
Give me a limousine, what would I do with that?
Pay a staff for me, what would I do with them?
A manor-house in Neufchatel, I’m not meant for that
Buy me the Eiffel Tower, what would I do with that?

I want love, joy and cheerfulness
Your money won’t buy me happiness
I just want to die with the hand on my heart
They go together, for discovering my freedom
Forgetting all your stereotypes
Welcome into my reality

I’m sick of your good manners, they’re more than I can take
I eat with my hands – that’s just the way I am
I’m loud and I’m sincere, pardon me
Down with hypocrisy, I’m outta here!
I’m sick of their wooden tongs
Just look at me, anyway I don’t want you, and that’s the way I am!

I want love, joy and cheerfulness
Your money won’t buy me happiness
I just want to die with the hand on my heart
They go together, for discovering my freedom
Forgetting all your stereotypes
Welcome into my reality

 

It was already 5 years ago, looking at it from here doesn’t seem true.
An email from him…about all the things that I was doing wrong, and on the other hand…me…I’ve already took a step in that magic world that in few months will become my entire world.
That world made by squats, dust, trips, nerds and freedom.
That was my biggest desire, freedom for myself.
Freedom from that absurd situation, from that world of chains and rain.
And I still feel sick and disgusted only reading those words…but something, something have sprouted up in me yet…
So, after a while, I answered to the mail…with this song, ‘cause I was sick and tired of that story…I wanted the feeling felt in those mornings in L’Aquila, feeling myself happy, and alive, after so much darkness.
I was at a crossroads, I had to decide if staying in that situation, in which every drop of myself was wrong, ‘cause I wasn’t the beautiful doll they wanted, ‘cause I didn’t give a shit of her money, of her hipster friends and all the bullshits.
I had to choose between a bourgeois lie and a bunch of punk-nerds sitting in the dust…
but this meant leaving everything, it meant to be without an house, money, or every kind of “known”.
Well, in a second the choise was done.
I chose freedom.
And this song became my shout to life.
That was the way I wanted to live.
Instead an entire existence of grey certainty I chose a life without boundaries.
Even just the thought of the immense universe waiting for me was filling me with joy and euphoria; but if I say that, in these 5 years, was always easy, I would be a big liar.
A lot of time it wasn’t, some mornings of November in the mud, some nights of December without the stove, some evenings without money or dinner…. weren’t easy.
But if I should choose again, well, I would do everything the same.
‘Cause that one, that crazy punk, obsessed with privacy and for sure quite antisocial, was me, the real me.
That difficult life made me happier than ever.
And leaded me to this point of my life.
I noticed it just few weeks ago…finding myself again talking about antisociality and human interaction, in the middle of the night, somewhere, next to a camp fire, drinking with two crazy nerds…
how did I finish there?
Well, it’s me.
The way I am, the people I feel comfortable with…the ones with who I don’t have to lie about who I am, the ones that when I say something, understand what I’m talking about…all this is precious, and rare.
And I wouldn’t exchange it with all the money and the certainty in the world.
Looking back in my life, knowing things that I know for sure about those sad people, that built their lives and relationship on lies, and disrespect…well, I feel myself pretty lucky…’cause it wasn’t easy, but it was (and is) true.
No lies.
My life has love in the eyes.

Annunci

Rispondi

Inserisci i tuoi dati qui sotto o clicca su un'icona per effettuare l'accesso:

Logo WordPress.com

Stai commentando usando il tuo account WordPress.com. Chiudi sessione / Modifica )

Foto Twitter

Stai commentando usando il tuo account Twitter. Chiudi sessione / Modifica )

Foto di Facebook

Stai commentando usando il tuo account Facebook. Chiudi sessione / Modifica )

Google+ photo

Stai commentando usando il tuo account Google+. Chiudi sessione / Modifica )

Connessione a %s...